Yawn, it’s 2am

by juststephen250

Well, it’s two in the morning and I find myself here lying in the bed thinking about the past, as I do far too often. There’s nothing I can change about it, however my head doesn’t want to stay in the the present. Are there’re to things that I would’ve changed if I could? Yes. Who knows what the consequences of any changes would have been, though.

Yesterday went fairly well, overall. I didn’t do a whole lot. Rearranged a few doctors appoints such as the stress test that I will be getting tomorrow and the ct that I will be getting on Friday. I hope that. They will find something as I am tird of feeling the way that I do all of the het irvine. I don’t let many people onto the way I feel we I don’t want to sound like someone who wants to be the center of attention, as I don’t. I just want to be healthier for I can live a more normal life.

I just need to figure things out. The way that my mother has to live right now has me depressed. She deserves better than he hat she has now and there’s not much that I can do to help her out. I need to figure out what I can do with my life as my health doesn’t show any signs if getting better. I hope that the tests show something, but I’m not optimistic at all.

I have a new small group Bible study that I hope to attend tomorrow night. It’s odd that I was invited the night after my other small group study ended for the summer. It’s even on same night of the week as the other. I might have posted about this already, I honestly don’t remember and I’m not going over my posts to see what I have or haven’t posted as I’m trying not to worry about what I post in this blog.

There are so many other things besides this going on In my head that I feel like my head is going to explode. Perhaps if I feel like going on those two trips next month it will help me be able to clear my mind a little bit. I’ve already made sure that I can get a day or two off to sit around and do nothing for each of them do out my stomach. I know one of them isn’t doing anything at all strenuous and I can rest whenever needed. I’m going to make sure heather the other one doesn’t require anything very physical either, we I’m not up to it these days.

I a m going to try to get some sleep, but with my luck it’ll probably be five before I can get to sleep. Who knows. Regardless, take care everyone.

Just Stephen