JustStephen

Just Stephen

Month: June, 2014

Boring day

6/23/2014 2:47

Not much going on. Still sitting around the house most of the time hurting. My back aches, my arms ache and I’ve feeling all over blah. I wish I would’ve been able to go on that mission trip this week, however I couldn’t risk going with my health the way it is right now.

Very depressed, but such is life.

On another note, Jury Duty probably next Monday. I’m going to try to get out of it because I honestly don’t feel like dealing with it healthwise or mentally. We’ll see.

Just Stephen

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Ugh. My back.

6/19/2014 2:52PM.

And I thought I knew pain. Monday I happened to lift something the wrong way and heard my back tear. It’s been killing me ever since. I went to the doctor today and he didn’t even look at my back – just tossed me some muscle relaxants that I’ll try tonight, but I don’t really have much trust in them, as they didn’t do much before for my back.

I’m hoping I’ll feel like going on that mission trip next week, but if I feel like this, I might still go, but I’ll be able to do very little. 

This is probably my shortest post yet.

Stephen

Another random post (I’m horrible at subjects/titles)

6/14/2014 1:49pm

I just got home from a short meeting about the mission trip I’ll be going on a week from now. It should go well. However, I was just informed that there wasn’t enough room for me to volunteer at the camp that I thought I was going to be helping out at for a week. This is disappointing, as I’d already planned around it, however I guess it’s not God’s plan for me to be there this week, so I’m not going to try to worry about it too much.

Also, another thing I’m trying to work on is busyness. I don’t have the regular seven days a week that most people have. I have four or five full days a week that I’m able to do anything with. I presently go to Sunday morning service, a Tuesday night Bible study and a Wednesday evening small group and sometimes a Thursday night Bible study. I’m just trying on focusing on not doing too much or getting myself too busy. The point of small groups is to be able to connect and live life with the other people in the small group that you’re in. It’s much easier to do so when it’s a smaller group, at least for me, as when it’s larger I freeze up and I’m unable to speak, while in a smaller group setting I’m absolutely fine.

I’m just debating what to do right now. I’m just getting mixed signals from different people, so I need to figure something out for I won’t have to be stressed about it. I’m just not good at making decisions that will have a major impact on things, as I like to consider them thoroughly and I can be quite the worrier.

Regardless, I don’t know why I’m posting this, I just thought I would.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day.. I’m going to take my medicine and get some sleep for I might feel like going to church in the morning. I don’t know if I will or not – we’ll see. 

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3am this time

2:58am

Today, well, yesterday was an interesting day, I suppose. I went and had my heart monitor put on that I will have to wear for twenty one days. I hope that it’ll find something. I just have to wait until I feel particularly bad as I do fairly often and press the buttons to report it..

My mattress in a box came today. I don’t know what I think of it yet. It has to be better than my forty plus year old bed that I had before. I went to a Bible study. It went well, then I went and played an interesting card game called munchkins for a few hours. It’s pretty entertaining, but I’m a bit too competitive with games I think, especially when I think, but was not certain, that someone was cheating.

I also finished season two of 24. I didn’t like the way it ended because it seems like they skipped three years after the ending until the next season began. Ending a cliff hanger with events that happened three years later is not cool, not cool at all.

I’m having a good many issues physically and trying to get my head sorted out over many things that I’m too tired to go over right now, so everyone have a fantastic night if you can. Morning technically. Whatever.

Just Stephen

Ramblings

6/1/2014 7 PM

Today has been another long day. The medicine I took for my stomach last night didn’t work, so I’m having to take it today again hoping that it will. If not, next step is a bottle of magnesium citrate. Having weird pains in my back and chest, not sure what they are, but they come and go.

I didn’t make it to church today, but I guess my high point of the day was talking to a friend I’ve known online for years. They always manage to cheer me up. If only circumstances were different… What else…

I pretty much have watched all of the 24 episodes that I can tolarate. There’s another five left in this season or “day” as you could call it.

Anyway, I am going to try to get some rest for maybe that medicine would work. I’m not holding my breath and I don’t have a good feeling about it. Maybe I’m wrong, hopefully it’ll work. I guess I’ll have to wait to see.

I just hope today isn’t indicative of how the rest of the month is going to be.

Have a good evening folks.

Just Stephen

A random poem

5/1/2014 12:50am

Filled with oppression by an enemy I can’t see
Satans tendrils crawl over me
Filling my mind with lies and dread
Thoughts of the past producing self hatred
He is powerful, that I can see
But he is nothing, compared to he who died for me
He can lure and tempt and try to deceive
Sometimes remain when I beg him to leave
Darkening my soul and bringing on shame
But when it comes to the end, only one thing remains
God is mightier, more powerful is He
Than this foul serpent who throws guilt upon me
Try as he might he shall not win
For God is the victor – he is my friend

I wrote this poem in two minutes or so, I know not why. It’s pretty bland but does show one truth that I fail to realize or acknowledge far too often, which is that God has already won the fight. I need to stop striving and simply do the best I can on a day to day basis and trust in His promises. Sometimes that’s easier said than done due to our fallen human nature. But persevere we must.

Just Stephen